Why am I still so soft at 18 going on 19 years old?

I don’t know why I don’t have any grit or dawg in me especially as a blk guy I’m anti social asf I’m too non confrontational. Like if someone comes and shoulder checks me or push through my bookbag I don’t even go and confront that person i just get frustrated with myself like a 🐱. I’m also very anxious to go to school knowing that I need to graduate in June and avoid taking summer school I’m just tired of feeling weird being that quiet guy in my classes I’m just naturally anti social sadly. I love basketball but I’m always anxious to play in gym class knowing that I need to play for a grade. Even my math class that I need to pass requires me to participate or else I fail the class and this just scares me knowing I might not graduate on time because I’m anti social I’m also very anti social going to the gym I don’t even look the employee in the eye and greet them. I also think way too much like when I say thank you and someone doesn’t respond i get triggered. I hate small talk because I feel like there’s no point of talking to someone if you re not having a full on conversation. I’m also very unattractive and don’t even look 18 I look freaking 15. I’ve been on nofap for about 70 days and still feel the same only difference is I feel a lot more tense. Any tips on how I can be more comfortable with myself and have grit in me?