I might need to stop breastfeeding early and I didn’t think I would be so conflicted

My first baby hated nursing and I exclusively pumped for her. Around 10 months I got a migraine that wouldn’t budge and after 6 weeks of trying everything else, I tried weaning and it finally went away. I had enough of a freezer stash so make it to a year and she was happily on solids.

Now with my second we are at three months and a week with a headache that sometimes goes up to migraine that isn’t going away. Before he was born, my husband and I said we would go formula if I had to choose between nursing and migraines.

But that is before I know how much he loves nursing. He will take a bottle but he smiles before and after nursing and gets so excited. He loves to fall asleep on the boob. I’m already feeling guilty about going back to work but I figured if we could have a cuddle nurse at night it would be fine.

Now the thought of going to formula makes me feel horrible because he clearly wishes he could live on the boob. I also feel horrible because I have had no patience and yelled at my toddler a lot over the past week and can’t stand it when my baby cries.

I’m seeing a neurologist soon, but feel so guilty for considering weaning.