I got remarried because I couldn’t take care of my kids alone

My ex wife passed away young due to health reasons. I’m not going into full details I’m trying to stay anonymous in case if this post shows up on social media, my current wife is an influencer and she follows a lot of these Reddit story postings. It’s actually where I got the idea to post a bit about my life since I never really admitted this before. People in my life can probably see I got remarried to make my life easier but I just never admitted to it.

My ex wife and I had twins together. Girls. Not surprising, twins run in my family. They were only 18 months old when my wife passed away. Man my life was ruined when my ex wife passed away. My ex wife had an emotional affair before the pregnancy which I found out about after her death from her phone, it’s the first time I’ve checked her phone. I was just trying to get her family’s contacts and I saw a bunch of things I shouldn’t have saw. So processing her death was hard for me, I love her and I miss her but at the same time she was cheating on me. She was having an emotional affair, she didn’t do anything physical but it hurts just the same. She was sending selfies back and forth to this guy. Talking about their future if they both weren’t married to the wrong people. They were talking romantically to each other as if they were in an actual relationship. They never met, they lived in different states but they did try to meet once and it failed. Yes he knew she was pregnant too.

Anyways, back to what I was originally writing about. Taking care of two twins at 18 months was hard. I felt like a failure as a father. I couldn’t work and take care of two babies at once. I have so much respect for single moms, they do it everyday like it’s nothing, they are so strong. My mom was a single mom that did it on her own too and I didn’t think what she did was admirable until I did it myself. Most women are better at this than we are. I didn’t even do it by myself for that long. I jumped into a new relationship after my ex wife’s passing. We met when my girls were 22 months old. We married in less than a year. We have been married for almost 4 years.

My then gf (now wife) took on the mother role quick almost instantly, she always wanted children and she was so helpful, I had to marry her. She made my life easier. Everything was done before I got back from work. She is a saint. I don’t know what I’d do without this woman. She was changing the twins diapers, doing nights with them when she started living with us, she helped me with feedings, she took them on stroller rides, she played with them, she had them on her all the time to comfort them. She treats my kids as her own. She was so patient with me. My twins had colic too and that was hell but she was so amazing. She was a better mother than my ex wife. I only say that because after the twins she refused to breast feed because she didn’t want to ruin her breasts, she didn’t even give colostrum to our babies. My ex wife shook one of the twins because she wouldn’t stop crying.

My wife is amazing. She is a superhero. I am grateful for her. I would have been lost without her. I was not good at mothering my twins before I met her. I was having a really hard time with managing both twins. There were times where I just let them cry in the crib and I had to step out for 10 mins to gather myself, I had to get my mom stay with me for 2 weeks after my wife’s death because I just couldn’t handle being a new father by myself. I would take one twin and my mom would take the other and sometimes my mom would take both of them if I just couldn’t do it.

My wife is currently pregnant. She’s 14 weeks. We haven’t told anyone yet it’s just too soon, we wanted to wait until we know the gender to reveal any pregnancy news.