Babysitting by Association

I have two wonderful friends, both have two children each. One is going through a tough time with her husband because ding ding ding ding you guessed it! He does zero parenting, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, yard work, dishes, laundry etc. They both work full time. She has finally (good for her) put her foot down and moved out of their bedroom, demanded marriage counseling, and given him an ultimatum that if things don’t change for good, they’re getting a divorce and splitting custody.

My other friend recently ended a long term relationship so I thought they could both use some chill girl time. My husband is out of town Saturday night so I invited them both over for a nice lazy afternoon and sleepover. I was going to make some springtime cocktails so we could spend the day lounging out in the sun drinking and talking then have pizza and watch movies.

Each of their responses were a resounding “Yes!” but of course one of them is unable to find overnight childcare (which I get, I knew that would be hard to find especially on short notice).

The alternative suggestion is that we go to her house and have a sleepover. Of course I said yes because I really do want to hang out with my friends but the more I think about it, the more I realize how NOT fun it’s going to be. We will get there in the late afternoon, and hang out with the kids, doing what the kids want to do, watching what the kids want to watch, eating whatever the kids get fed, feeling guilty for drinking around them, sneaking 🍃 pen puffs, and not being able to talk about anything difficult or substantial. Then when the kids get put to bed at 9, we finally get time to ourselves which then just ends up being us sitting in the dark, having to be as quiet as possible because it’s a small apartment. Fall asleep on the couch, get woken up at 6AM Sunday morning by a kid in a wet pull-up, then continue to babysit by association until it’s a polite time to leave.

I LOVE my friends and want to spend time with them and I also spend a lot of time with her kids (we invite them over to hang out, we treat them like our own niblings). But damn, sometimes I just want to hang out with my friends 🥲

Just needed a place to rant and complain, thanks for listening!