Have I [30M] been catfished for 5 years? [25F]

About five years ago—just before COVID—I met a girl on Instagram. She had a very large following and ran a "content creator" account (you can guess the type). I initially messaged her with content in mind, but we connected over shared interests and kept talking. She said she was happy to stay in touch as long as I didn’t get sexual.

We were both going through tough times, especially during lockdowns, and we spoke constantly on Snapchat. She never showed her face—even in the content she sold(or so she claims, i legitimately never bought any)—but would send frequent snaps of her day-to-day life (without her face). It gave me the impression I was talking to a real person, but in hindsight, I wonder if they could have been faked.

After lockdowns, we planned to finally meet, even though we lived on opposite sides of the country. She made it clear it would be just as friends. Before the meet-up, she sent a photo of herself (just one), and by then we’d exchanged gifts and I had her address. We even video called, but she’d always keep her face hidden.

The day we were supposed to meet, she ghosted me. Not just me—she went silent on all her socials. Given our deep convos around mental health, I was genuinely worried. I found someone on Facebook that matched the details she'd given me, messaged them, and was blocked immediately. About half an hour later, she popped back up on Snapchat saying she panicked and was sorry for scaring me.

I confronted her, accused her of being a catfish, but she sent some convincing evidence, including a phone number and insisted she couldn’t have me on Facebook because no one knew she did OnlyFans. I accepted it.

Fast forward—five years of near-daily conversation. No money ever exchanged. We made plans to meet a few times (I bailed once or twice too, but always told her). Recently, I lost my job and brought up meeting again. She seemed into it… then ghosted me for two months.

This time, I did some digging. The address she gave me has two people registered there: her and a man—clearly her boyfriend, much older (she's 25, he’s 45). From Facebook, it looks like they’ve been together for years.

I made a new account and messaged her, confronting her about the relationship. She blocked me again but later sent a message claiming she was never the girl in the photos with a face—she was the best friend. She apologized for lying, but insisted the faceless photos and videos were of her. She also said I was expecting too much, that we were "just friends," and accused me of overreacting. When I asked who she really is, she refused to say—claiming she’s scared of what I might do. I told her if she won’t be honest, there’s no point continuing—and she agreed.

I'm left wondering what’s real. She provided a lot of what seemed like genuine proof over the years, but now claims it was all from her friend’s account that she had access to. No money, no overt manipulation—but also no honesty about her identity, relationships, or intentions. To add, the person I've been speaking to is definitely the same person who I've been speaking to for years, as she has intimate knowledge of our early conversations and regularly brings up stuff we did years ago, such as games we've played etc. To add, he gaming IDs always matched the name of the person I believed I was talking too.

I feel confused and stupid. Was I catfished? Or just strung along by someone who was never honest about who they were?