Idk if I can handle this anymore.

I’ve only been dancing for 7 months. I lie to my parents about what I do for work. If I get caught it’ll ruin their lives and my life. I feel guilty every time I’m in the club. Depending on the amount of money I make it can mask the guilt. Bad nights make me feel shit.

And I’m just done with dating. My last relationship ended bc of stripping. The men that I like just use me for sex when they know I’m a stripper. I feel embarrassed asf even writing this but I’m currently crying over some loser (who has shown me multiple times that he doesn’t care about me but ofc acted like he was so into me in the beginning ) after I let him have raw sex with me last weekend and then he proceeds to act like I don’t exist after that. All because I just felt lonely asf and he gave me the 5 seconds of attention and fake “love” I have longed for lately. He just knows he controls me. Before I went to his house to do that he came to the club that night with his friends to see me for some stupid reason (he’s not a customer to me btw i met him outside the club) and it wasn’t the first time he did that either.

These days I always come to work just feeling tired and unmotivated. I’ve been eating nothing but junk food lately and I can feel my body crying on the inside. I’m just so fatigued.

Do I need to take a break from this job? I feel like it just controls every part of me. I even changed clubs last month because I was over that place foreal but I think I need a serious break tbh. I feel mentally drained and I’m stressing over my course work too. Ts is too much to handle rn.