bulimia (sort of) recovery story

being inpatient for 3 months really helped me get out of the b/p cycle, even though I wasn't admitted for ed neither was I being treated for it. there were set meal times, and limits on certian foods, & you were not allowed to have food in your room. you technically could sometimes order your own food, and then you could get enough to binge, but you HAD to eat at 4.30 in front of staff and other clients. (plus the food there was shit) the first few weeks I binged on anything I could, but I didn't even enjoy it the food there was so bad I started giving up binging because i would've rather not eat the food then eat it. I was still really hungry all the time (thanks quetiapine), but with the set meal times and portions I got used to eating smaller portions more frequently instead of larger portions all at once. when I got out of inpatient that sort of stuck, and my binges weren't as bad (as I also had alot of catching up to do with school and home and didn't have the time or money), so I went since probably middle of February till today with no b/p. every time I want to start b/p again, I think of how much money I'm saving by not doing it. I spent hundreds of dollars in afew months just on food when I was at my worst. I am about 3 months free from b/p (I have gained a ton of weight though)I find not having such a strong urge to binge every day has helped my mental health (and teeth lol) but I still feel like I'm waiting for the right moment to start again, like this is just a temporary break. b/p made me feel disgusting but also so good at the same timebut I know it is something I have to stop. I don't want bags of puke in my room mouldy with maggots anymore. I hope this sticks and I don't return to my bulimia. bye bye idk why I posted this