Kid's and cars

I've got a 2008 Bmw 7 series...nice old bus, black, cream leather etc..bought it a few years ago from the one previous owner who'd had it from new. Last week the youngest of my lads asks if he can borrow it for a few weeks

"Of course...just don't crash it, thrash it or kerb it please, and bring it back with half a tank of diesel"

Yesterday he rings my wife with panic in his voice, almost tearful...its on loudspeaker so he doesn't know I'm there..

"The passenger side windscreen wiper on my dad's car is broken, the front passenger window won't wind down, I've scratched a front wheel and spilt 2.5lt of paint in the boot!!!...he's gonna go mental. What can I do?"

I signal my wife to hang up and gave him 24hrs of worry then called him...

."How's things with my car?"

"Erm..ok, why you asking?"

"No issues then?"

Erm... no, not really dad"

"Do you want the car?"

"What???"

"The Bmw...you want it?"

"Why..?"

"I've just bought a Panamera...and you, old son, are going nowhere near it"

His reply was very much Guy Ritchie film Snatch...

"What the f*** do I want with a busted Bmw with a boot full of paint??