I like to think about what I would say to my ex because it helps me process and reflect everything. Is this bad?

I’m about 4 months into no contact and there’s no chance we’re ever getting back together. She tries to play the nice person role but she’s definitely talking her shit to everyone. I noticed a bunch of people unfollowing me after our breakup. Who cares tho there’s always two sides to the story and usually the person who’s telling everyone everything is hiding something. If those people don’t want to hear my side they aren’t worth me worrying about.

Anyways I like to play these scenarios in my head as if me and my ex one day met again and had a good adult conversation about the relationship and breakup. I like to think of myself telling her my whole breakdown of everything. I think it helps me process the whole breakup and reflect on my bad qualities while also realizing all of her bad qualities that I was ignoring. I just catch myself doing it too much maybe and usually during work. I’m pretty sure people at work have caught me talking to myself without me realizing I was doing that lol. I guess I actually speak out what I’m saying to her in my head. What are yall’s thoughts?

There’s a really good chance this will never happen in real life and if we ever even walk past each other ever again she’d probably avoid me at all costs. I’ve accepted my faults but she has a major problem with accountability and I think that’s why she completely cut me out in the end. She knew she fucked up this time but couldn’t handle the guilt. She used my past as a shield to deflect her own accountability. But I wish her the best, just hope she learns so she can actually find the love she’s looking for someday. It takes two to tango, and both partners have to own up to things and work through things.