whenever i’m alone i think about my ex

i (20f) feel lonely and whenever something bad happens like being treated like shit by others and being rejected , i think about her (20 mtf) . i broke up with her

the irony is that my ex treated me badly and hurt me a lot and was abusive to me. i miss having a safe space to cry

i try to know different people and i get fucked over. therapy hasn’t helped (and don’t want to talk about it)

just right now feel like crying, i don’t love her or anything just pure hate. after everything