This is it

I've been posting here a while but I'll sum up my story one final time. I had a great life. Issues like we all have but the good outweighed the bad. I appreciated the small things. Morning air, the smell of hazelnut coffee, the freedom to play whatever songs I like on the freeway. Delicious food, events on the town, holidays, vacations etc. I quit my job back in October due to the high stress levels, disorganization, and impossible work load demands. Felt good to preserve my mental health. I had also been dealing with horrible menstrual cycles, heavy bleeding extreme mood swings etc. So I decided to get a birth control shot that would eliminate my cycle. Worst decision of my life. Caused chemical insomnia so I went two weeks without sleeping and didn't know how i survived. Ended up as an inpatient for a month then sent back to the real world to try to live like nothing ever happened. But I was traumatized and broken. By the experience, by the regret, the disappointment of trying to help myself but making things worse, by my family taking advantage of me and belittling me while I was being treated. So I never went back to normal life. Didn't apply for jobs. Didn't do any self care. Just sat around my house. Letting the bills pile up. After 4 months I now have an eviction notice on my door, and my truck was repoed out of my driveway last night. I regret not getting off my butt but at the same time life just didn't feel the same anymore. Basics felt like a chore, no longer wanting to be around family who was already toxic to begin with, wondering what obstacle I would run into next if i did get things in order. So this is it. I can't fix this. Truck gone, groceries low, eviction notice, I'll most likely not be here in the next 24 hours