Sex is a chore? Ok. Now I don’t want to do it.

I, 38M am married to LL 31F. We had a weird conversation last night. My wife offered to give me a handjob since shes tired. I declined because I was drained from my day and I asked for a rain check for today.

I asked her if tomorrow if I can use the vibrator on her and she told me that orgasming takes a lot out of her and it’s draining. She said not that she doesn’t wanna do it, but that level of tired that she will feel afterword is a lot.

She was like the way you feel great after cumming is the way I feel going to the mall and walking around and people watching and just relaxing. I rather you take me to do that then to use vibrators and stuff on me because I get nothing out of it.

I then told her that I don’t get sexually fulfilled because even though I cum and satisfied, I don’t get to explore with her and do things to her that I’d like to do. I absolutely love eating pussy, in the time I’ve known her I can count on my fingers how many times I’ve been able to do that.

She told me that orgasm does not work the same for her as it does for me, when I have pent-up frustration, and I need a release that will cause me to be happy and energetic and wanting to run a marathon, but for her it gives her brain tv static and she won’t have any energy to do anything else.

So I’m like, so is this why we don’t have sex as often? She continued, yes. Sex is like exercise for me. My boobs are so big they cut me off from breathing, my heart rate goes up and when I finally cum, it’s so strong that I feel even more tired than I already was.

Even though we had respectful discourse. I was so dismayed at hearing that I married someone that doesn’t get the same joy out of sex that I do. And to be honest, I feel hoodwinked.

When we first got together, we were really having a great time, she even showed me two positions that I didn’t think I could’ve previously done. So this had me believing that we were going to have a decent sex life.

Last night was the most frank I’ve been about not being fulfilled, and tbh I’m turned off. I don’t want to be in a marriage where I am tolerated and sex has to be a checked off box.

She even told me once it’s hard for her to concentrate during sex because she’s thinking about so many things other than the task at hand.

What sucks now as a husband, now since I want to withdraw from having sex after hearing that although she enjoys it, sex does nothing for her really, now she’s going to get mad that I’m mad about this and I’m going to have to walk back the fact that I’m mad…once again deprioritizing how I feel about the situation.

I have no clue at how to process hearing any of this. I feel like I’m stuck!