she says she likes me, but nothing she does shows it — am i missing something?

hi friends. first post here and of course it’s a rant. i really don’t know what to do.

i (26f) have been talking to this girl (25f) since november. it’s may now, so that’s quite a while, especially because we talk every single day — like, all day. we’ve never gone a day without talking. but it’s always just regular talk. no flirting, no nothing, just casual conversation. recently, she told me she likes me… but i honestly don’t feel it. she never shows it, never expresses anything that would make me feel wanted or chosen. i’m confused.

we’re long distance — different cities — and she told me she’d be visiting mine. i got so excited and started planning everything. she told me she was coming with her best friend (he’s gay), so i even planned things we could all do together. she agreed to it all. but a couple of days later, she tells me he made an excel sheet with all their plans… and it was packed. no real time to see me. she also mentioned they had another friend here and were planning a reunion, and then would leave to another city. that really hurt.

the only time she said we could meet was tuesday at 10:30 pm… knowing i work super early the next morning. and not just that, but she wanted to go clubbing. i get really anxious about that kind of place — and she knows that. then, when she got back to her city, she texts me, “i really wanted to see you.” it felt so dismissive. especially because, when she was here, i had asked her what her plans were for the day, and she ignored that message. when i brought it up later, she said she didn’t ignore me, and that i already knew her itinerary. but the thing is, she had free time at some points, and i even considered asking for time off work just to see her, even for 10 minutes.

then there’s the phone call thing. i asked her if we could talk on the phone — she said yes, and then left me hanging. didn’t follow up, didn’t make it happen. i didn’t ask again. she never takes initiative. and that confuses me more, because now she’s started calling me “love.” i used to do it too, but stopped because she never responded to it. i told her not to say it if she didn’t mean it, because it affects me — and she stopped for a while. then she started doing it again (not constantly, just like once a day at first, now maybe four times a day — which still feels low-effort considering everything).

when i told her how confused and hurt i felt, she said she does like me, but that “it’s hard” for her. i’m trying to understand, but i’m used to people showing me they care — being intentional, flirting, making it known. i love flirting, i love that excitement… and with her, there’s just nothing. i’ve been (kinda already) bored for a while now.

what throws me off even more is that she talks about marriage, about me moving to her city, about the future — but she won’t even make time to see me when she’s here. i’ve been there for her through everything, but she’s constantly negative and down, and it’s starting to drag me with her. it’s exhausting. i feel like i’ve been putting in so much effort for someone who doesn’t truly want me, or doesn’t know how to show it. i’m starting to feel like i’m wasting my time :/