WIBTA if I dropped out of a wedding completely

Hello, throwaway account because my friends involved with this know my main. I’ve talked with some friends irl who said it’s not but I figured why not let strangers give opinions too.

So I 24F have been gaming with my friend 26M for a couple years now and we didn’t always get along but have grown from then. His fiancé, 23F, is a new friend of mine that I met through another one of my gaming friends and is 26M ex girlfriend, and the fiancés now ex-best friend from this situation. To note the ex is a good friend of mine and is fully ok with me going to the wedding she just wants nothing to do with it.

I was MOH in this wedding at one point but was asked to step down since I live out of state, which I understood completely and was not able to give the time to get due to work. (I could afford to go as needed just when the wedding was confirmed I recently moved and wanted to get myself settled, and a new job since I just got my bachelors). She recently had a falling out with another bridesmaid, this is like the 2 one to drop out cause of her attitude (they couldn’t respond to her messages immediately cause of their children and work) and she asked me if I could just be a bridesmaid. I agreed noting that due to getting a new job I couldn’t travel as much because really needed to start saving to pay off student loans. She agreed and said this was fine she only really needed the MOH to be there and bridesmaids just for dress fittings and such.

I know I dropped that she is marrying her ex-best friends ex boyfriend, they dated for 5 years and were living together and found out they weren’t right for each other. A big thing to note about the new couples relationship is during that 5 year period they both hated each other and would talk a lot of trash about each other. They started talking in the beginning of this year and were engaged 3 months later and were then originally planned to get married about 5 months after, due to family things this was pushed back another 3 months. Then due to his assignment for the military this was pushed back till march of next year.

Now here is why I don’t even want to attend this wedding. They are getting legally married in about 2 weeks and he got stationed overseas. She is not moving with him but is still getting married and refuses to cancel the venue, which I checked can be canceled and is spending an additional 8k on flights for the wedding she is struggling to afford as it is. (Originally had a $300 food budget for 150-200 people) She claimed she doesn’t care that she is going to be away from him for a year. I know this isn’t my business and it is what it is not my circus and all, but I really don’t want to be involved with this. I accept that by not going my friendship with both will most likely be impacted. So Reddit, would I be the asshole by telling her in advance that I will not be attending the wedding?