Hair dye help!

I need help figuring out what to ask my stylist for in color matching my hair. I’m 31 and newer to hair color for greying. I did a caramel balayage for fun in 2021 at 27 - first time I dyed my hair. I did it one more time in 2022 after a new stylist forced me into it (lol… bad experience) even though I had wanted to get rid of it. I liked it at first but after awhile it didn’t really feel like me.

In early 2024 I started going back to my natural and wanted to start covering up some greys under the surface. I went in May and in Sept to two different salons as I moved across the country in between. I remember liking the first color and not the second as much.

My hair is naturally a dark brunette but it had a distractingly heavy red undertone the second time. I didn’t want any red undertone.

Today (May 2025) I went back to the second salon for a color retouch with a new stylist. It was a man with 40+ years experience. I trust him! I was honest with him and said I didn’t like the last color and told him the reasons. He actually brought me half a level up as the last color was a lot lighter than my regrow. And used a different toner.

In the salon it looked good - but I don’t look too closely anymore after that bad experience haha and too afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings if I don’t like it. Once I got home though the color is CRAZY patchy and there are still grey hairs!!

This guy is super experienced so if this is still happening what is the hope?!? Can someone help a color newbie figure out how not to go insane trying to figure out what color to wear…. And not have to drop $250 for a retouch that just doesn’t quite hit the mark?

And please help me figure out how not to have patchy hair with a red undertone when I just wanted my natural. I’m willing ATP to do a full color even if it deviates from my natural color but still in the same color class. I like rich chocolatey browns. Maybe a teddy brown???

Help!!