AITA?

I 23f, my boyfriend 26m have been together for 5 years. We had another argument today and it’s just the same as usual, not like we have arguments super often anymore but I feel like there’s been no progress in the whole 5 years and I don’t know what to do. I know I have a problem retaining information and opening my mouth, not staying silent and he does all the talking but to me it just always makes me so emotional, that’s partially why I don’t speak up, and I don’t know what to say, and half the time idk where to fit in what I want to say and by that time what I was going to respond to has passed so obviously it’s at least partially my fault. So today’s argument started when I was driving under 5mph through the crosswalk of a store, there were people crossing and afterwards he told me those were stop signs for me to stop for the people (there was a couple in my blind spot so I had to stop abruptly) I mentioned I didn’t notice they were stop signs and I was looking side to side anyways making sure to watch out for people and he started going on about me not noticing, this is why he’s always my second pair of eyes on the road etc. it went on for awhile and he then says something like how I need to learn how to (?) can’t remember what it was but when he said that I said you need to learn how to not talk to me like that. I could be remembering in the wrong order but when he responds to that I told him that how he says things makes it feel controlling and that made him really mad. I wasn’t meaning to say that he is controlling just that it feels that way. It’s really easy for me to get defensive too so I can’t tell if he’s genuinely trying to help or criticizing/belittling me. So he starts saying I always do this, I always make him feel like he treats me bad, I never say wow thank you that helped a lot, I’m so glad you were there to help me with that, etc. I just always point out the negative, which is partially true I do point out a lot of negative in day to day things which I’m trying to break the habit of, but I don’t think I really ever tell him that he treats me horribly. I think it sometimes but I don’t think I ever tell him that he treats me horribly, I guess that is his experience tho. But so the more he talks the more mad he gets. I try to explain to him that I don’t think he’s controlling it’s just the way he goes about telling me because I’m also still trying to figure out why I get this way and from that after his initial response he just says fuck your feelings, idgaf how you feel, if this is how it’s always gonna be I don’t wanna be with you (I’m pretty much just silent during all of this) and I unfortunately can’t remember much more, he repeated the idc about your feelings post quite a few times but that I would say is the jist of it. Arguments always get out of hand and I don’t ever know what to do about it I just start silently crying, try to find things to say. I don’t ever know what to do and I want to ask for help I just don’t know if it would work, I’m not good at following or remembering things obviously so idk what to do. Maybe just advice? What are your thoughts on this? Thank you