New Player Questions

Hello, I am a new Commander player (2 weeks or so) and I've fallen in love with Myrkul lord of bones commander from the Baldurs Gate themed packs.

Recently, I've discovered like almost all the fun or strong cards are either very hard to get, or very expensive to buy on their own. In addition, most tables I find at game stores play exclusively in the 4th bracket even though the store advertises "Casual Commander." I'm already learning the hard way about Rystic Study and gamechangers.

I want to be able to play on the same level as other people so I can actually do stuff. Losing on turns 4-7 from infinite mill combos feels rough

I've found a few cards from online websites that could at least even the playing field, but they are all proxies. Barrenton Medic, Devoted druid, cindersomething Wretch, etc. I've also heard that for some reason, the community has an issue with Proxy use however.

I don't want to step on anyone's toes or cause trouble, but I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. I can't actually play the game in most places, and although I have heard that people are supposed to have conversations about power levels and such, every table I have been to hears I'm new to the game, and 5 seconds later there's tutors everywhere and at least one person has Rystic up already, and I'm being forced to sacrifice lands!

The only options I have here are to either just... stop looking into magic as a whole, proxy cards to stand a chance and learn how to play at a 4th bracket level, or spend thousands of dollars to look into the magic community.

My overall question is, well, what should I do here? Magic seems very difficult to get into, but I still find it fascinating even if it's frustrating at times. I don't want to make the game unfun for others or cause faux pas, but Proxies sound like the obvious answer. Am I wrong for doing so?

TLDR; Is it a bad thing for a new player to make decks that are 99% proxies? Is it wrong to make proxies of Game Changers? What can I, a new player, do to make decks that stand a chance without spending hundreds and thousands of dollars building a collection, but also without angering people?