Reviewing Every Episode #5 - La Lanterna
Goodness me, we just arrived at our first Italian Fakeria. It’s a great episode, although one that’s easily forgotten amidst all the wonderful UK eppy’s – maybe because, as became increasingly rarer, there was never really a bad guy, or even mild antagonist, in this episode. The chef/owner, Alex, is lazy and messy but also very passionate about cooking, and takes all of Gordon’s criticisms and changes head on. His sous chef, an oddball lady who doesn’t really give a shit about cooking, is surprisingly talented, winning the now infamous pizza contest we’ll get to soon. And the useless maître-d, one of Alex’s mates, does quickly grow “a pair of bollocks” and learn to use his voice.
Because of how laidback and genial the episode and it’s inhabitants are (even by UK standards), there are basically just three major components that make this episode memorable, two of which are running jokes that kind of play throughout…and the other is the pizza contest, which is one of the few scenes in the UK series I see people still complain about. I have a different complaint than the fact that the sous chef hid parma ham on the bottom of her pizza, and one of the taste testers was a vegetarian. “Oh, that’s meeeean!” And he meant it – it is kinda mean, and he could’ve been more pissed than he was. But also…this is the first scene in any UK episode I just don’t believe. We all know things eventually got staged with this show, and I just can’t believe that legally speaking, the show would let two random taste testers in for food and not have to sign things that they were allergic to. I know my vegetarian sister of 30 years would get violently sick if she ate a bunch of ham – for the show to not know about it beforehand, and for Gordon to somehow know about it but only afterward, despite watching them cook everything…I dunno, something’s very fishy with this scene.
Luckily, the other two stand-outs make up for it. The running joke about selling Alex’s stupid chef license plate is hilarious, with Gordon calling up some of his famous buddies to try and dump it (“I’m gonna kick your fuckin’ ass, Gordon!”). The other one is Gordon pushing the maître-d to screaming matches, yelling profanity loudly right in Gordon’s giggling face. The more they make him do it, the funnier it gets.
Lanterna may not be among the best UK episodes, yet it’s still a winner, charming and humorous as always.
Rating: 8/10
Best Moment: When Gordon comes back a month later, makes the little maître-d yell f-bombs in his face, then casually shakes his hand “How’s it going?”
Worst Moment: The pizza contest, obvs.
Next Up: “The only thing worse than a bad chef is one who tells porkies.”
Posted May 11, 2025, 4:37 PM UTC