Why do I sometimes crave to take part in the lies of modern society even though I see clearly through all the lies?

I know that our society is made up of false systems and programs that have nothing to do with our essence as spiritual beings in a physical vessel. I know that society is built in such a way as to keep us from discovering and tapping into our spiritual side.

I am referring to religion, rigid schooling that is a propaganda tool, elitist universities that only deepen inequalities, malls built to get us to consume, so much entertainment to keep us conked out so that we are further disconnected from ourselves and from each other, holidays like Valentine’s Day/Mother’s Day/what-have-you invented to separate us from our dollar so that the powers that be have power over us and so that we’re easily controlled.

I see through it all. Honestly I do see how society is false and it’s all lies and fake. However, sometimes I crave to fit in. I resent that everything is commercialized and commoditized, however I want a pretty Mother’s Day bouquet. I want to go to a fancy restaurant when everyone around me is doing it even though I know a home-cooked meal is so much better on so many levels. I sometimes have the desire to go for a PhD because I’ve been told I’m smart and that I’m not using my full potential. But I am also happy living a simple life, doing a simple job that’s not stressful. But sometimes I am also unhappy about it and want to change my life completely and want to fit in and wish I could stop being weird.

I honestly don’t understand myself. Why is it that I can see through it all and know that it is fake and that it is all conditioning, but I still want to partake in the fake sometimes and mostly love my simple life but sometimes also resent it so bad?