Is it common for husbands to not know what they want in life?

Something that has been challenging for me in marriage is that, I have known what I want in life since I was a little kid, and apparently my husband has vague ideas of what he wants at best. I thought this was uncommon for years, but I've recently found out that two of my friends are in the same boat.

I've always wanted to be a mother and build a family and have a small homestead.

Friend one wants a part-time career, one kid, and to travel.

Friend two wants a career, to travel, build a small homestead, and no kids.

All of our husbands 1) have been very vocal about what they want, but it constantly changes, 2) cannot think of anything they've always wanted for sure except to be married, 3) seem to be surprised that we, their wives, were actually serious the whole time about what we want in life, and 4) don't have any actual goals other than "don't fail".

Is this normal? What do you think is going on here? It's very confusing to us women, because our husbands are opinionated and particular about life, but don't have any defined goals at the same time. And also pretend to have defined goals, but then abandon them. It's very confusing.