Plz help me, I wont survive this !

Im struggling with dpdr , anxiety attacks, ocd syptoms amd intrusive thoughts. For 4 years now. I am twelve years old and in the last few days I have been noticing signs of a strong orcishness in my DPDR. I am afraid of what life would be like without DPDR, intrusive thoughts, etc. I am very scared. I think the only way out , to get away from all that stress and recovery is that i need to die . I don't want to die , but im scarred i won't survive this . I mean , it's been 4 years , since i was normal . But now , im really scarred of everything and every recovered syptom . Im really scarred . I think i would lose myself , if i get rid of all these . 😮‍💨 plz help me . I need some support . My family don't know , what im struggling with . Bit my dad is the only one , who know this bit he never understood me . Because I have intrusive thoughts , yesterday I became very aware that I am more of a dreamy type of person . I thought that when you do something and daydream a little at the same time , I thought that was not normal . I can't imagine life because of dpdr. I can't imagine it. Even though I can see almost all the colors and reality is like a living movie... and people are like living holograms...; I need support, please. If anyone has dealt with all of these things, please help.