Is this normal or should I go to a psychiatrist?

19f, 5'4'', 140 lbs, in USA, PTSD and OCD, no medications

TW Suicide/SH mentions

Since I was 12 I've been passively suicidal with a couple of periods of it growing worse and me actively attempting, but never badly enough to warrant a hospital. My parents told me it was normal and not that serious.

When I was in high school I went to five different therapists who diagnosed me with OCD and PTSD. CBT made me feel worse so I started SHing but then I did EMDR and that reduced a lot of the symptoms of the disorders so I stopped that. However I was still feeling suicidal, but I also didn't bother attempting because I knew that my parents would keep calling it 'normal for my age' and nobody would really care if I died.

I'm now in university and seeing a therapist at this school. It's been helping a little but I still feel panicky nearly all the time and I'll get dizzy from stress. I'm doing activities and classes that I know I like but I don't really feel happy even when things are going well, I just feel kind of like I want to age 60 years so that I can be old and not worry about needing to live a full life.

My question is basically do you think it would be worth it to see a psychiatrist? In high school my pediatrician mentioned it but my parents are very anti-psychiatric medication, they say that it doesn't work and and that the only way to become happy is by 'working out your issues in therapy.' They also say that if you're happy from pills then you don't deserve to be happy. But I feel like clearly therapy isn't helping. I get decent sleep and eat vegetables and dance and run for exercises so it isn't like that's the issue either, and I have a safe and privileged life. I'm tired of wasting a life that somebody else would enjoy a lot more and I want to be happy, but I also don't want to bother with a psychiatrist if they're just going to tell me that this unhappiness is normal and something I need to deal with on my own like my parents say.