He wasn’t even really mine, but losing him still hurts so much…

I just need to share this. I could really use some support…

Hi everyone. I’m 18 and a girl.

A few hours ago, I stopped talking to a guy I was emotionally attached to. To give some context: I have an anxious attachment style and get attached pretty easily. We only talked on the phone, we never met in real life — we were planning to, but he had to go to another city for an important event.

Even while he was there (they weren’t allowed to have their phones), he still found ways to borrow one and call or text me every day. I got used to him. I won’t say I was in love, but there was definitely an emotional bond.

Earlier today, he texted me saying he wasn’t ready for anything, that he wanted to be alone, and that it wasn’t about me — it was about him. I don’t blame him. He’s in the military after all. But it still hurt so much.

I cried and couldn’t calm down. I don’t know why I’m like this. He deleted our chat on Telegram and removed me from Instagram — basically disappeared from everywhere.

Now I’m just lying here, numb, trying to understand what’s happening to me. Is this depression? I can’t find interest in anything anymore. Tomorrow I’ll go to work, then come back home, then work again. It’s just this endless loop.

You might think I’m weird for being heartbroken over someone I never even met — maybe you’re right. But I still want to hear some advice, or just something. I want this post to reach someone, because right now, I just feel so empty and alone. I don’t even know where the color in life went… I can’t find it anymore.