I hate Mother’s Day

I’m 34, childless, and in a relationship where I give 150% and get 2%. I thought this was finally a healthy relationship where I would be happy to have a family. Instead I’m feeling anxiety about my relationship and another year goes by where everyone else gets celebrated for having something I’ve been dreaming to have for at least 10 years. How do I give up wanting a family? I just want to accept it’ll never happen for me so I don’t feel crushed every time I see a baby or flowers for Mother’s Day or my friends pregnancy announcements. I have 9 friends who are pregnant right now and I’m happy for them but pissed at my life. It feels like there’s not enough time to meet someone, trust that they are who they say there are and won’t change into a nightmare after a year, get engaged, married, live together, have a baby. I never wanted to cram those things in but here we are.