I wasn't INC from the start. (It's long, and a rant at the end)

Hi, I'm a female minor from the Philippines. Let's keep it simple: I was birthed into this religion. My birth certificate has Iglesia ni Cristo written on it, and I had my baptism when I was 14 years old.

But ever since I had consciousness, I wasn't... interested? I don't know what word fully describes what I was feeling, but I didn't even care nor did I want to care about the religion even when I was just a toddler.

My mom used to wake me up early in the morning, asking me if I wanted to go to church. Of course, I didn't want to go, I wanted to sleep. But ever since my grandparents moved in with us, I had to. My time in PNK was quite bland. I would go on the back of my grandpa's motorcycle and we would go to the next block to go to church. Then, I would just mindlessly zone out as the kids around me sang, and after that I would lazily chant 'Opo' and repeat what the pastor wanted us to say as he taught whatever teachings he spoonfed us.

Of course I still do the same thing, just in the real church where the adults are, but this type of thing really bothered me. Why was I so different from my peers? Why wasn't I connected to God like the rest? These questions kept me up at night. How these things made me feel so out of place and lonely. I believe in God, but why don't I feel the same thing as they do?

My mom brought me along with her to church, when I was still in PNK. She brought me there where we sat at the far end, where we saw everyone. But as I was drifting off to wonderland --- everyone suddenly cried. I was standing in complete confusion as I looked around, and every person I saw was sobbing, including my stoic mother that never even cried. What? I was so confused and scared. Why wasn't I crying as well?

The pastor was screaming at the top of his lungs, pleading to God as he sobbed as hard as he could, his face red from all that frantic worshiping. And the rest followed suit. I felt so damn odd that I just began to force myself to cry so that I could fit in, but instead of praying the same things as the rest of them, I was praying for God to put in the fear they were all talking about and pleaded that I was a TRUE Christian like the rest.

Since then, I gave up. I knew the truth, I wasn't sheep like the rest. This was in part because of my father, who is Muslim, who converted because of his love for my mother. Ever since I took the leap of confiding with him, and I feel more connected to Islam and his culture, he's been the one who's been keeping me sane after all this nonsense of the INC.

So, in conclusion: Don't be sheep, have the critical thinking to understand what the hell these people are doing. Because, truthfully, all they've been saying are bullshit arguments over and over again. Not every lie you repeat becomes true, Manalo. And I found it quite funny that the past few weeks their lectures have been about: how Catholics are false and they're stoopid pagans, INC isn't Manalista BUT the prophet is a Manalo which means every Manalo should be held in high regard, don't listen to the internet and what they say in social media, and don't forget to follow the list of people to vote.

Really... it's just a crock of shit typa religion man... and honestly, I do think God gave me the gift to see the lies in this religion. Truly, Allahu Akhbar.

Anyway, rant: Even though I love my parents dearly, they are clearly idiots and sheep. I asked them who are they going to vote because tomorrow is the mid-term election day. Dad said (typical taga-Mindanao response) that he's gonna vote for the entire PDP-Laban because "they're gonna get D30 home, and make sure that he is free and his reign is complete" and my mom on the other hand just shrugged. Because the list of candidates they're gonna vote for will be sent (INC Blocvoting yay). Sigh. What the fuck? I was about to cry about how IDIOTIC my parents are. But what is love if you don't accept anyone's flaws? And indeed, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.