is it easier to get over a an overt narcissist than a covert narcissist?

**Trigger warning** violence

Did anyone go through feeling like it was easy to move on once you went no contact? Is it easier to move on from an overt narcissist versus a covert? I thought this would be harder… but I’m on day 4. yes, I’m still hurt. But it isn’t that bad. I left a narcissistically abusive relationship like this, but covert, 4 years ago. I’ll call him Eggo. I was with Eggo for a year. Moments with Eggo had more good than bad, but the bad was such a questionable and confusing bad… like plausible deniability. He projected a nice guy image, and he had feelings. He seemed to be more in touch with his feelings and empathy, or faking it. Eggo was a covert narcissist. The cognitive dissonance is STILL there about Eggo.

THIS time… with this ex, I’ll call him Fart, the bad outweighed the good more often. I was with Fart only 10 months. With Eggo, anytime I had a concern, or was upset, he would listen, manipulate an apology and feign empathy. It would soothe me after feeling abandoned.

With Fart, he would just say I was creating problems, making him walk on eggshells, starting fights. Sometimes he would rage, sometimes he would just disappear and be very cold. But I was hurt, brought up a concern, or a need, there was NEVER EVER resolution. EVER. I never NEVER felt safe with Fart, except maybe briefly during the lovebombing stages.

Fart was clearly more overt. He showed a judgmental, disdainful side pretty early in the relationship. I really just wanted to break up with Fart the whole time but couldn’t. My biggest fear was that it would be too difficult while I was in graduate school, after having taken years to heal from Eggo.

Once I finally have left Fart, it feels easier every day. I don’t hurt that much. I also found out Fart cheated on me with three different women. Eggo NEVER cheated, and I knew that. It hurt SO badly to walk away from Eggo, the covert ex. So I’m wondering… is it possible I’ll just move on easier from Fart than Eggo? It took me 2 years to get over Eggo. With Fart, it feels like maybe at most… it will take a month, if not less time.

Fart was overtly abusive and aggressive…he’d bite me to bruising leave marks all over my body even though I’d ask him not to he kept doing it, he sometimes pickEd me up and swing me in a scary way, he’d pretend choke me, do nonconsensual acts I. Bedroom… list goes on for why the relationship was AWFUL. So maybe it won’t take that long, because as the dust settles, I just realize how CRAPPY the whole relationship was… it just sucked the whole time with little. Rumba of good. I felt Fart’s arrogance and belittling of me pretty often. Now that I finally have left, it feels easier every day. I don’t hurt that much. I also found out Fart cheated on me with three different women. Eggo NEVER cheated, and I knew that. So maybe I was more afraid of it hurting so bad, when it won’t?