Dating with chronic illness

Hi everyone, I’ve (40sF) been on the dating apps the last couple years after divorce. I’m struggling with finding someone who likes me for me, but is also understanding of my chronic illness (fatigue/pain). I’m unable to be as physically active as I used to be, but now I enjoy activities like concerts and plays. I am fully independent and living my best life, and just looking for a companion to share life with. I’m not looking for a caregiver or any handout (I can take care of myself, tyvm).

Last year, I dated a guy for a few months. When I mentioned my disability at first, he showed no concern. However, before I broke things off , I asked him why he was ok right away and he said it was because he was only after sex with me.

This past year, I dated a guy for a few months and he didn’t seem bothered by it at first, though later he questioned me about my finances and said he was worried I was planning to take advantage of him. I assured him I was not.

I’m mainly using dating apps (Bumble, Hinge), and I seem to get a reasonable number of likes. I don’t disclose my illness on my profile. Of the few people I get to chatting with, I dread when they ask me what I do for work. I tell them I’m retired due to health reasons.

Some people have unmatched me immediately, asked me invasive questions about my diagnosis, told me they’d never want to have sex with me, asked me for my financial information…

I understand that people out there don’t want to date someone with chronic illness (I get it). I’m trying to keep up the hope there will be someone out there for me. It seems like a big ask for someone to get to know me before writing me off.

I’m looking for advice on when and how to disclose? Should I wait until I’ve met in person? Or should I keep disclosing right off the bat? What’s the best way to tell someone that doesn’t scare them away?

TLDR: when and how should I disclose my chronic illness on the dating apps?