Is this really it?

If there is one thing that has always been true in my life, it is that my issues with other people get resolved. I never have true conflict with anyone, I just avoid people I don’t click with.

I blocked my ex a few weeks after we broke up for personal focus and growth. I have changed a lot since then, and I want to somehow lessen this wrong that I may not have caused, but was a part of. She broke up with me, on good terms. She just decided it simply wasn’t working at a tumultuous period in her life.

I want to unblock her so badly as a sign that I’m healed, but I also never want to see her again. I want so badly to make sure everything is ok, but the thought that I would be causing more damage plagues me. I hate being part of something that could have messed her up mentally and it’s something I may never live down, even if she had equal if not more responsibility in how it turned out.

Is this it? It’s been over half a year. Do I really have to keep her blocked and live with such a negative experience? I get that it’s part of life but come on! Does ending on good terms really mean ending?