Tiptoeing around MIL

I think I just need to rant. So my MIL recently moved across the country. While she was living here, she guilted my partner and I constantly about seeing her, giving her attention and affection, particularly on days like Mother’s Day. This had led to many, many tantrums.

I also got the sense that she could not handle me talking about my own mom or family. She kindof flips the conversation back to herself if I mention them-back to her own family and ways they did whatever ‘better’ or like a more intense story. Example, she asked what my parents did for work. I said my mom has a business making clothing—which launched her into a 30 minute long rant about her own ‘business’ (MLM) and that was the only question I got about my family.

Navigating times splitting our family for Christmas was awkward as hell. She guilt tripped and could not handle us seeing my family, who also lived close by.

I get a sense that my family makes her extremely jealous. And the two are really different. My family actually gets along in a reasonable way even tho they are definitely not perfect, and I think that is hard for MIL to see, even for my partner to see. My partners family is really dysfunctional, constantly having blow out fights and tension. This makes mentioning my family to her at all awkward for some reason, and I don’t.

Well my brother is traveling here for Mother’s Day on the way to a wedding. And MIL asked to talk to me on the phone—eventually asking ‘what we’re doing today’ and I said I’m seeing my brother. She kindof popped about ‘trying not to be jealous’ about not seeing us.

My partner cannot talk to me about how awkward it makes me feel and I guess I need some help processing things. He is very familiar with putting her off, even taking a tantrum from her and can’t/ won’t talk to me about how stressed it makes me. After the call, he even said that I shouldn’t have mentioned seeing my family at all-well it’s Mother’s Day and she asked to talk to me, and then asked what we’re doing today ?? I actually didn’t even mention my mom/ only my brother. I just feel like maybe I was pushed in the corner. She asked what we were doing and didn’t like, say oh that’s fun or how’s your mom doing. She just went straight to I’m jealous. I feel mildly irritated about it. Am I over reacting :/