28 (f4m) ca/online – i’m starting to think you’ve been in control this whole time

i act like it’s casual
like we’re just friends, or just passing time, or just sharing space
but you already know how easy i am to pull out of place
you barely touch me, and i start listening better

maybe you’ve been domming me without saying it out loud
you don’t ask twice
you don’t raise your voice
but when you say “good girl” i go quiet without meaning to

you’re not obvious about it
just little things

telling me to open my mouth when you hand me a sip of your drink
guiding me by the waist when we’re somewhere crowded
correcting my posture with a single hand between my shoulder blades

you don’t tease
you direct
and i pretend not to notice that my thighs are always pressed together by the end of the day

but the first time you said “knees” in passing, and i moved before i thought about it
i realized i was already yours

or maybe we’re roommates
nothing weird
just an extra bedroom and an awkwardly shared fridge

but then laundry starts crossing over
my sports bras folded on top of your t-shirts
your hoodies keep ending up on me
and you don’t ask for them back

one night i come home in a mood
headphones in, blanket wrapped around me, tank top too thin to be polite
you’re on the couch
you look up once and say, “rough day?”

i nod

you hold your hand out
i don’t ask what for
just climb into your lap like i’ve done it a hundred times
but this time, your hand lands on my thigh and doesn’t move

you say “stay,” and i do
still pretending it’s casual
even when your grip tightens slightly every time i shift

i like being told what to do
but only if you say it like you mean it
and only if you've earned it

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