Am I the only one who gets insomnia because I feel like I don't deserve sleep?

I often stay up late or not sleep at all at night even if I feel sleepy and my eyes droop, it's like there's something in the back of my mind telling me I don't deserve sleep because of all the wrong things I've done, like "i don't deserve to sleep because I missed the deadline for all my activities", or "i don't deserve to sleep because I made someone's disappointed in me and I'm such a failure", things like that. And coupled with executive dysfunction, It's hard for me to do anything that requires any thinking, any physical labor, or just anything in general. I feel so bad for the people who have to pick up the slack because of me but I can't do anything about it. I can't even get meds because it's strictly monitored here in my country and it's very expensive, but i genuinely feel like it's the only thing that can help me get through this.