TIFU by accidentally sending my boss a voice note of me trash-talking him while on the toile

So this happened a few hours ago, and I might be unemployed by the time this gets posted.

I was having the worst day—barely slept, my cat puked on my only clean shirt, and I spilled coffee all over my work laptop. I went into the bathroom during my lunch break to mentally reset. While multitasking (you know... sitting), I got a Slack message from my boss asking why I was behind on a deadline. Frustrated and half out of it, I recorded a voice note to my friend venting about how “my boss couldn’t lead a pack of ants to sugar,” and included some... creative comparisons.

I hit send.

Except I didn’t send it to my friend.

I sent it directly to my boss. On Slack. While clearly sitting on the toilet. WITH the echo acoustics and a flush at the end.

Five minutes later, I got a reply: “Noted. Let’s talk tomorrow morning.” No emoji. Nothing.

Wish me luck. Or unemployment benefits. TL;DR: Tried to send my friend a voice note trashing my boss while on the toilet. Sent it to my boss by mistake.