I think I was touched when I was a little kid.. but at the same time it feels weird and it doesn’t seem real like I’ve only dreamed about it somehow..

Hi! I’m Hyun, but I wanted serious help. Around 8 years old I suppose?? I was with my cousin and his friend, his friend and him are best friends. My cousin’s name was Jay then his best friend is Kope Which I guess I accepted him also as a friend. One day it was kope’s friend and I was invited since you know friends?? after all the party I was at my house where kope and of course my cousin jay was also there, I was on the bed with jay playing games until Kope came wanting to join but he didn’t sit down he went on my back like piggyback or you know hopped in my back since I was laying flat on my stomach everything was fine now and then. But moments past he started rocking his hips on my butt which made me clueless of course as a child I had no clue what sexual activity meant, after that chaos happened he started touching me and I didn’t know what to do but at the same time it felt like a dream.. I’m not sure about it.. Please give me advices or comfort.. I feel guilty to myself and The Lord because I didn’t know what to do.. ☹️☹️ But it feels like it never happened to me. I somehow can’t bring up to tell my parents since they are super Duper!! Caring and I mean it, and once they hear this even if it’s still unsure whether it actually happened they would jump on Kope..