How do i make myself feel better about the shared traits to my toxic father?

My father is a bad father, I think he's a decent friend, okay teacher, etc etc, but as a father? He's caused me and my sisters problems we probably will never fully recover from. He manipulates, he guilt trips, he doesn't care about feelings, he has anger issues, and his mood swings are horrible. He's good in the short term for a toddler or baby, that's evident by the fact me and my sisters were all daddies girls- and now I'm planning to cut him off, he isn't good for anyone who suffers from anything he hasn't suffered from, and he hasn't suffered the stuff I am.

My older sister inherited our mother's traits- not great ones, but at least they weren't from the guy who's ruined (and actively still is) our lives in different ways.

I inherited his. I manipulate, I guilt trip, I plan for logic and not feelings, and i have moodswings. And I feel absolutely horrible about it. I know what I'm doing isn't even comparable (I'll explain a bit in a moment), but I still feel terrible that I can't just operate like a normal human. Here's what I do with the manipulation tricks I can't unlearn no matter how hard I try.

1. I manipulate people into asking about me and liking me as a human being, I ask back aswell and listen to them, I just manipulate my way into normal human interaction, but it feels filthy.

2. I guilt trip by mentioning actual reasons I can't do something like "I haven't really gotten to eating or sleeping in a day or two" or "I have really bad pain right now and my meds aren't helping", I still do whatever I needed to, I trick people into being worried and asking about me because most of my own family can't.

3. I just can't grasp others feelings sometimes, I got used to ignoring mine so I have a hard time remembering others attend the feelings. But I try to remember, I try to plan for their feelings, I keep notes on them so I can remember, but I don't, and then I feel bad about ruining their hour or day. The plans also mostly go against my feelings as a main.

4. My mood swings are just as bad, I can go from mad at someone to happily speaking to my little sister without missing a breath, I can show ten different emotions in the span of a few minutes, all I can protect myself on this is that I make sure to communicate clearly even when I'm mad.

I know it isn't the same as doing all this to harm others, but I still don't like it, and it causes me to spiral every few months or weeks depending, this time I would like some help- how can I genuinely convince myself I'm not like the man who took me and my sister's childhoods? Or better yet- how do I stop these altogether?