I feel like we don’t matter today

I lost my boys at 20 and 27 weeks, my 4 Mother’s Day since my first loss, everybody we know are now parents, yesterday I saw a post from a good friend, it felt like a punch in the guts, the post was about « pet’s parents » but her words hurt me, she said something like you can’t call yourself a mom if you don’t carry the mental load of raising a child, the post wasn’t aimed at me obviously but I feel like it was insensitive for people like us. If we aren’t mom/parents because we didn’t get the chance to raise our babies, then what are we? Don’t we matter too?