My life is over :D I wanna die :D I didn’t know surgery could ruin me this much.

I’ve been dependent on my minimum daily steps and safe foods for stability for the past idk how many months. It all got taken away from me in moments.

I fell and broke my hip :D at 19 yrs old. I broke my hip from a low speed fall :3. >~< yaaaay

Sooo now

I can’t walk. No more steps! I can’t go to shops, no more bp! Okay I can handle that…

Oh, broken bone, surgery, swelling, forced bedrest…

My body is getting more swollen by the hour. I want to die. I can’t recognize myself.

Everytime I undress I cry and the nurses and doctors had to calm me down abt my body so many times just crying to them abt the swelling and how bad I look.

They know where to go in the ward and exactly what’s happening when they hear me cry. Stupid fat ed girl that can handle a broken bone fine but literally since the ambulance came to get me I’ve all I cried abt is my steps and my weight and nothing else.

Now I’m In the hospital. I look down and I wanna vomit. Idk how much I weigh but I def gained at least >6<kg since getting here on Sunday. I’m swollen asf. I want to DIE

But I’m still eating tf out of every meal. Issue is I can’t purge :D no more purging yay. I’m meant to keep in cals and not even burn them off

I wanna die. I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die. I wish I never left the house. My life is over. Good luck ever getting me to recover I swear as soon as I regain mobility im never sitting down ever again. Kill me. I’m gonna speedrun and nobody’s gonna stop me. I’m just gonna starve starve starve UGH