Day 20

Started on 20 mg for 10 days; 30mg for 4 days, 6th day on 40mg.

Feeling pretty good. My days seem to oscillate back and forth between “zombie mode” where I’m calm but out of it, and wired/anxious but feeling myself. Today is the latter. The swings seem to be getting less drastic, though. Hoping they will settle soon.

On these days I go to the gym/workout in the morning and try to get the extra energy out and drink electrolytes after. I’m placebo-ing myself that the electrolytes make the anxiety go away lol.

I take a small dose of a benzo everyday as well. This is also because I have a big event coming up that I am very nervous for, so I don’t know if I’ll need to take it once this weekend is over.

My body is still out of constant fight or flight. It’s funny, now that I’m out of feeling terrible, but still feel anxious, I don’t really feel relieved or “better”, even though I know I objectively am than a few weeks ago. I guess I’m just waiting to not dread everything, and maybe experience more joy.