Not Emo, It is a Physical Affair

Two days back, I discovered that what I suspected as a emotional affair had actually turned into a physical one.

He is screwing a relative newcomer in his office. My husband (47 M) is primarily Work From Home but travels a lot. It is there that their sweetness has happened.

He recently went to meet his friends in another city (we lived for 12 years in that city) but actually stayed in a hotel, and they again had an encounter.

I haven't confronted him, but I am barely holding myself together, and just going through my day like the usual.

I feel sad for our children, who are very attached to their father.

The sadness is immense, he had come out of another physical affair about a decade ago. I had maintained his dignity, and never spoke a word to his family or my side of the family.

Now I feel like my life is down the drain, 23 years of marriage down the drain. He will not make anything easy for me.

I had seriously nosedived and thought of killing myself last time I found out how inadequate I was.

Now I have become such a rationalizer that I thought if I die, I will leave my kids in the hands of this man. No point of dying then, right?