r/adviceph•
escobardude

due to financial reasons, i think i should break up with my bf.

Love & Relationships

Problem/Goal: So my boyfriend (23) and I (22) are in a long-distance relationship. He's a foreign national and he makes three times more than I do. While I do have a stable job (I make around 40k per month post taxes), it's barely enough since I'm supporting our household (me + my parents) and I'm also funding my own studies (my tuition fee + misc expenses). As for my boyfriend, he doesn't have any other financial obligations aside from his car loan. Also take note that my boyfriend is completely aware of my financial situation and he says he understands that I'm on a tight budget. Now, the problem is, we've made plans for him to visit me in the near future and he wants to split the costs (his flight ticket, our accomodation, etc.) right down the middle. In general, I have progressive values naman and I'm very much okay with splitting bills and stuff in a relationship. Problem though, splitting the bills evenly would cause a lot of financial strain on me. Like I would need to save up a lot (more than 30k) to prepare for his visit. Considering the current responsibilities that I have, I don't think I can easily shell out 30k without feeling like I could've used it to save up for my future. Don't get me wrong. I love him so much and I really want to be with him. It's just that I don't think I'm in the proper financial situation to be in this relationship. I don't want to be a burden to him nor do I want him to feel like he's the only one who's making efforts for us to see each other. It's just that I don't have the capacity to make that kind of effort yet since marami pa akong other financial obligations. I'm also thinking about his other future visits. Like if we will always split everything evenly ba. This is making me even more anxious and it's making me wonder if I should break up with him instead since I don't want to be unfair to him.

Previous attempt/s: I shared these things with him yesterday and I told him that it would be okay if he says that he needs to reconsider our relationship. He said he doesn't want to break up and that there are other ways we can go about this. He gave me pieces of advice on how much i should save up per month, and he told me he's going to try and see if it's possible to further cut down the costs of his flight ticket. Even with this, I'm still having doubts if I can actually maintain this setup for a long time.

Posted May 15, 2025, 4:26 PM UTC

12086
Loading comments…