Please, I need some answears, my self harming cravings are coming back, brother sees me as weird "medical-condition" and only two friends are becoming distant

My brother read trough my medical reports and found out I am transgender and in 6 days I am going to specialized psychological clinic for trans people to get HRT approved, while I myself had to explain that to my two friends because they had some plans with me for a week, I feel like harming myself again