hey... idk if anyone’s even gonna bother but imma just vent real quick 🙃

i been the "fat weird girl" since i was like... 7?? 😭 even in elementary school, kids were ruthless... "fat cow," "blubber butt" — like damn bro, i was 8 😞 and when i hit 10, my 🍒🍒 popped outta nowhere and it just made everything worse... creepy stares from grown men... gross comments at the mall... i didn’t even understand wtf was happening. i just wanted to shrink and disappear 🙃

middle school?? literal hell. eating lunch in the bathroom. faking sick notes to skip gym. every dude either trying to grab me or crack jokes about my chest, but never treating me like a real human.

high school? lmao. same shit, just colder. guys sending late-night flirty dms but straight up ignoring me at school. girls laughing, whispering, calling me desperate. i tried everything to hide... baggy hoodies, layers on layers even when it was hot as hell... still got made fun of 🙃 it felt like no one saw me — just my body.

home wasn’t much better. single mom working nonstop, too tired to notice how much i was falling apart. sleeping 12-14 hours a day. gaining weight. giving up.

graduation came and i thought maybe it’d finally get better. spoiler: it didn’t. jobs didn’t want me. "not the right look." love didn’t want me either. just late-night texts, fake promises. fake guys. fake friends. fake smiles.

the nights hit the hardest... just me, my worst thoughts, and a stack of unpaid bills. not even gonna lie... i thought about disappearing for real more than once... but somehow there was still this tiny stubborn spark in me that wouldn’t quit.

starting OF wasn’t some glamorous move lol. it was survival. i was tired of being invisible. tired of begging to be seen. tired of starving and crying myself to sleep 🙃

so yeah... i made an account. said fck it. if people were gonna objectify me anyway, they could at least pay me for it. if they were just gonna see a body, at least it was gonna be on my terms.

it’s not some fairytale. it’s not a perfect story. but it’s mine.

if you actually stuck around and read this... fr thank you 🥹 it means more than you know. i still feel invisible most days... but maybe not to you. 💖

i hated my body til OF 😔