The feeling of being left behind

Hi. I’m just not sure where to turn to anymore. I miss him so much, it’s been 7 years and it feels like it was just yesterday. I’m not sure when I will feel entirely better. As the days go on I just keep thinking, what would we be doing at this moment. As I grow older, I find myself growing more and more bitter about life. I don’t want to be here without him, but I don’t want to die. I want my life with him. I had the most vivid dream about him the other night. It felt as though I was able to feel him again… I kept asking him why he would leave me here alone, he just kept saying he couldn’t explain. I woke up destroyed. I’m unable to complete daily tasks. We had planned a whole life together, marriage, kids, moving away together. I’ve never met someone so similar to me, he was truly my other half. I’m not sure how to cope or to move on. My grief cannot escape me and here I am just moving forward as he has to stay the same. I miss you so much my dear.