I need to not text this man.

We broke up a few days ago. I’m fairly confident it would take one sentence to get him back. The circumstances that caused the break up are completely gone, and I haven’t told him they changed.

He didn’t cheat but….

He left bruises on me when angry. He didn’t believe women should vote. He believed if I was raped, he should determine the victims punishment because “you weren’t the only one wronged. You won’t want to have sex after him. I’d be in a sexless marriage”. I asked him “what if we only have daughters”. He said God wouldn’t do that to him. He intentionally got into a car accident on the highway because he didn’t like the way she drove. Gaslit himself into believing it didn’t happen that way; or at least tried to gaslight me abt it so hard I truly believe he doesn’t recognize the truth.

And I miss him. I was his first kiss. It was four years together. He led me to Jesus. I wanted what could have been. I wish I didn’t crave his validation. I wish I could hate him.