[2556] The Spirts Love Me

This is the second part of a story. I don't expect anyone to read the first part. Basically, critique the story as if it's a standalone chapter with the knowledge of some keys elements of what came before:

!Jasmine was contracted by a spirit as a toddler as the narrator watched!<

!The narrator is twisted in the way she perceives love; also, a performance motif has been established throughout the story!<

!They were being bullied. At the height of it, they were being stoned when at the sight of the narrator, Jasmine suddenly seemingly cried and broke the boys arm. She is emotionless otherwise.!<

!The first part concludes with the narrator feeling betrayed and no longer considering Jasmine her little sister and with the line: "If I cried now, who could love me but family?"!<

Let me know what you think. I enjoy getting basically any constructive critiques.

Story: 2556

Crit:

2655

2007