[1375] First chapter, Magic & Dark academia

Please critique my chapter 1. I am especially interested in feedback on writing style and pacing. Thanks!

Here is the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WlaIuWUFdhHl-ZGilEpqKMQAqdQWHDJzPnzODUDHo5Q/edit?usp=sharing

Critiques:

[848] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/Z4iSY8veL1

[1917] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/QuZlX2pyBU