Mommy issues vent lol

Little vent: I don’t think my mom is a narcissist but we were in a very abusive situation for a while with her ex husband (my former stepdad) and his daughter. He was a narcissist. However she has been treating me worse than she used to, and it doesn’t make sense because she never used to act this way. I’m 17, so I’ve only got a year until I can hopefully move out, but I have lost so much trust in my mom in the past view years. She was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, so I blame it on that and my former stepdad. But it’s sad because she raised me as a single parent, so in a way she is my best friend.

My mom is always saying that we get along just fine until she takes away my phone, but I don’t think that’s true. I’m just more submissive to her control until she takes away my phone because I’m not good enough for her. Because she tells me to do chores, and there aren’t very many honestly, sometimes none. I actually don’t know what I’m supposed to do when she tells me to get everything done because the list doesn’t feel consistent and she NEVER gave me chores when I was little. She’d clean my room for me and such because she believes that she was smarter than me when she was a child (she has said this recently, at least she’s honest I guess.) I don’t have a license because she always screams at me when we drive, and I’m terrified that I’ll never have a license. She screams at me for every mistake I make to the point where I’ve disassociated for a long time. She stopped letting me do laundry after I finally learned how bc I accidentally put too much fabric softener in and then got mad at me when I fell asleep and didn’t offer to help her do laundry. Yesterday it was constant nagging for every little thing I did. She said she’s banning me from going in the laundry room or she’ll take away my phone for two weeks bc I dumped all of my laundry in there. She threatened to stop letting me take showers because I forgot to put the bath plug in to stop the cats from going in there. I apologize and she tells me I’m not sorry. One time she did take my phone, and then I ran away bc she has told me more than once, with and without my phone, that she doesn’t want me anymore. In fact in the past year she’s been saying that she’s glad she didn’t have more kids because I made her realize that she didn’t want kids. I ran away for three hours without shoes (because I’m petty) to go to the police station, which is where she told me to go. The police station was closed, but I was too far from home to walk back. I was found in a church. They asked me who my bishop was and took me to my church. My bishop asked me questions and I told him my full story. He called and talked to my mom, who blamed everything on my phone, that I go crazy when she takes away my phone. My mom never went looking for me when I ran away. She never prayed for me to come home. She just prayed that i wouldn’t end my life. And when i got back she told me she hated me, that i ruined her life by telling the bishop the truth and “deliberately destroying her reputation,” and she wishes id never come home, never been born. She hasn’t sincerely apologized to me for anything in YEARS. And I always feel bad for feeling how I do because as soon as I start to vent about it, she starts being nice. Maybe I am the problem. Maybe I’m lazy, maybe I’m selfish, maybe I’m a screw up that can’t do anything right. She really is a good person. She gives to anyone she can and finds joy in that. She’s been through a ton. Shes kind. Shes good. I believe she genuinely feels bad. But i still feel so hurt about things she’s said and done. I’m scared to say anything to her but i do yap about my interests to her. I’m scared she’ll criticize me or ask me to stop talking. I don’t trust her much. But I feel bad for feeling like this. But I’m scared of my future. Of what I’ll be able to do when i grow up, if I’ll be a good mother someday or if I’ll continue this cycle. If me worrying so much about this is going to make me a bad parent in the long run. I just want an apology from her is all. That’s it.

Is this emotional abuse?