AIO to the time my ex made me apologize to my friend when I “invited myself” to my friends party?

So back story is my old friend, Jake (not his real name) and I had been friends for years, before my ex and I even got together. We had a very straight forward, joking relationship (had because we are no longer friends).

When my ex and I were together, the two of them got really close around year 4 of my ex and I dating.

One day, we’re at a party and Jake talks about having everyone over his place for a bonfire and just a good time. Never set a date though. So a few weeks later, I’m at my exes and he’s on the phone with Jake. They’re talking about getting together and my ex says something along the lines of “yea I’ll let her know” then talks me about how there was a thing happening at Jake’s in a few days, but my ex probably couldn’t go due to family obligations.

I didn’t think much of it, but the day came and I texted Jake saying “hey I know my ex said he didn’t think he could make it but I’d still love to stop by if you want to send the address and time!”. I was thinking about how Jake mentioned getting something together, my ex tells me about it and I had been friends with Jake for going on 6-7 years at this point.

The day comes and I didn’t hear anything from Jake but my ex told me he was then going to Jake’s place. I thought it was weird he didn’t bring me along with him, but whatever. He did his families stuff earlier so he ended up being free.

That night, I get a text from my ex saying he wanted to talk to me. Ends up yelling at me and telling me I was out of line I needed to apologize to Jake.

Apparently, Jake’s thing was a guys only day, which I didn’t know. I thought it was a big thing based on how everyone talked to me about it.

My ex goes off saying how he didn’t like that I spoke for him and he didn’t like that I talked to Jake that way, that I caused so much confusion between the two of them and I had done a bad thing. I mean literally screaming at me.

He then basically forces me to apologize to Jake, I said how I didn’t know it was guys only thing and sorry if it sounded like I invited myself, I got confused because he had mentioned a big thing and my ex did not tell me it was a guys day. Jake literally did not care at all, he said he had bad service and forgot to respond to me but he never even thought twice about it. That when he invited my ex out I’m always invited as well (which my ex NEVER brought me along) but that day ended up being just guys.

I told my ex why I got confused and he didn’t not care. THEN he starts accusing me of inviting myself to his good friend’s wedding. Saying “I heard you and the bride were texting. Did you just invite yourself there as well?” Yelling this at me. I started to yell back that months ago, she personally texted me saying “hey just wanted to let you know that you are your exes plus one on the invite :)”. I had told my ex this AS she texted me. I was like “I’ll send you the freaking screen shots”.

THEN he starts going off about how he didn’t like that I had “invited myself” to go out to the bar with him and Jake and that group (with other girls) a few weeks prior. I did NOT invited myself, my dog was dying, I was very upset and my ex called saying he was going out. I asked if he minded if I tagged along and called Jake as well to make sure. Both said they had no problem, my ex (who was maybe 10 minutes away) refused to even pick me up so I drove myself 45 minutes to go out to the bar. He waited to tell me how annoyed he was that I intruded in on his time with his friends (even though they were MY friends first).

Anyways. This all came up in conversation with some friends not too long ago and I just want to know if I am over reacting to being absolutely livid at how he used to talk to me and treat me. For YEARS he did stuff like that but am I just being dramatic?? I wasn’t perfect in the relationship, I had my flaws, but I never spoke to my ex like that or forced him to apologize for things that honestly made now sense too. It was a simple misunderstanding on my part which I admitted was my fault for not getting clarification, but that didn’t matter, it was a good 25 minutes of him just screaming at me over this and then bringing up 2 other things that happened months prior to this incident.

This all happened within the past 8ish months BTW, I didn’t think of this again until it got brought up by my friends