Struggle loving my body

I am sorry to dump these negative thoughts on here, i know I’m supposed to bask in the miracle of pregnancy, but I have nowhere and no one to share these feelings with.

Ever since the early weeks of my pregnancy I struggled with the small changes that I saw. My face looked gaunt, pale and hollow, my under eyes constantly dark, sudden acne. It eventually grew into worse changes. The biggest being my chest: my nipples which I previously liked started growing so fast and turning dark, and at 16 weeks it’s still getting worse, and from what I see, this is only the beginning. I struggle with my silhouette. I was previously already self conscious about my belly but there is almost no way to hide it anymore.

I am obsessively looking up statistics, comments and posts about whether my nipples will return to normal, and the lack of consensus is killing me. I don’t know if my chest will look deflated after I give birth, and can’t find anything to do proactively to avoid that. I’m not sure if my belly will tighten up again or if my skin will be loose.

My obsession with hoping my belly doesn’t get too big, with my nipples changing, with trying to go back to exactly how I looked like is driving me crazy.

When I combine this with the expectation that this is a beautiful time to feel our feminine power, celebrate the strength of our bodies and bask in the miracle of pregnancy, I feel hopeless. I feel so far away from that feeling that I can’t even imagine what it’s like to enjoy the journey and the changes.

Has anyone else felt this way, and healed from this. I struggle so much. I genuinely can’t find even 1% of me that is welcoming these changes with excitement.