I did something recently that made me realize how far I’ve come

I recently returned from a trip to DC, and as I was heading back, I realized that, compared to years ago, I have come so, so far in terms of my anxiety.

I’ll spare the details of my whole life story, so to be brief: I had very bad anxiety as a kid that revolved around emetophobia, agoraphobia, and fear of panic attacks. At my worst, I had to walk everywhere, I cowered in fear if someone even mentioned throwing up, and I would routinely miss school due to anxiety.

Family vacations in particular were tough. I was afraid of getting motion sickness while traveling (or witnessing others), and of having a panic attack so far from home (my safe space). I have very bad memories of being so anxious and wanting to either stay in the hotel the whole time, thus missing the fun excursions. I once even got so worked up that I threw up myself.

Fast forward to now. My boyfriend and I went on a wonderful trip to DC to see the sights and meet up with a friend. I took a lorazepam and Dramamine before the flight and was completely calm. Things that would’ve triggered me as a kid had no effect on me. I was able to do everything we planned, and had a blast doing it. There even was a moment where I felt the beginnings of anxiety start to form. I didn’t panic. I took deep breaths and a lorazepam, and it was gone within 10 minutes. There was a time where that would’ve evolved into a panic attack and ruined the whole trip. But it didn’t!

On the drive to the airport, I reflected on that and felt so happy and proud of my progress. I used to have anxiety almost every day. Now I am almost symptom-free. I’m thinking of all the new possibilities for me travel-wise and am so excited.

Just wanted to share. It can get better, so much better than you’d ever imagine!

Love to all of you and I wish you the best on your journey.