Tired of hurting (and crying)

Sometimes I wish I had the Strength (or weakness?) To k*ll myself. Im tired of getting hurt by the people I love and care about the most and they seem to not care and maybe never cared. For all this I wish I was never born and that I've never met those individuals. Now I have to heal these emotional scars they eft me with. If seems like no matter how hard I try though they just won't heal. Im tired of my heart aching and longing tor the things I cant seem to have forsome reason. Im just genuinely over this.

I want to give up because genuinely What Is the point. I just feel like I was set up to fail. No matter what I do it’s just never ging to work out. I feel helpless and alone rignt now. I dont want to do anything but hide and sleep. I hate myself I hate where I am in life I hate how lonely I am I hate that I have to struggte and I hate how heartbroken I am.

Also I’m well aware people have it worse (I work at a suicide hotline and have heard it all) but i genuinely feel like a waste of space.. just taking up air. There’s too many voids that are too big to feel. Everything truly feels pointless